the lazy stretching monkey in chapters
The Lazy Stretching Monkey
This story is about my miraculous self healing of a serious, almost paralyzing hernia, RSI and more, by just performing a simple move.
I am not a doctor, I can only tell you what happened to me.
Here you will read the story, my astonishing day by day healing I wrote down in my diary.
I hope this will help you too.
If it really works as well and as simple for other people, it might be a serious threat for the medical establishment.
Did you ever think about what price-tag you can put on a life without pain???
Since I discovered how to “reset” my spine, I did: It’s priceless!!!
So should I keep this to myself and help a handful that will pay for my advice, as many did advice me to?
I think not!!!
This is a move that belongs to mankind, because it is too simple.
And for me, right now, it is too big to comprehend how far this healing really goes.
Because it is very simple to achieve, I want you all to know how to too!
No therapy, no doctors, no medicines, just a daily halve a minute move.
Be healed of all back pains and more, like magic.
Because I wish you all a healthy life without pain, if possible.
In the beginning this might be difficult to perform,even though it is just one minute,because most spines are locked somewhere.
Just try your best , every day a minute (or two).
In a week or two you will get loosened up and you will really start feeling its power.
So this will probably be the best help you can give
your body to help healing itself.
A lot of problems are caused by miscommunication and blocks in the spine or spinal cord.
The body is designed to function without problems originally, but then it should be able to get all signals around.
See yourself like you are a puppet on a zillion strings.
Your head is the handle, your spinal cord the strings and your body is the puppet.
Now only if you have control over all zillion strings your body will fully function.
This move will repair all strings probably, if they can be fixed or rerouted.
So then your body starts looking at its blueprint, if that’s good…… it wants to get there.
I had a good body before it started failing on me……..I got it back.
I guess you’re no different…….
So even when you feel good, after doing this you will feel better.
So this will probably be the craziest and most ridiculous thing you have ever read, at first.
And will probably be the simplest and best thing you have ever learned to stay healthy.
And you can’t loose!
I give you this information for free……..
Just read, look, astonish and try !
And IF it’s worth anything to you, reward me later…….once you see this heals your problem(s) too.
Donate whatever you think it is worth to you.
I will learn you to open up all spaces in between your spine, as well as stretch your nerves and everything that runs through your spine, your spinal cord, without force or pain.
Your spine will reposition itself instantly
and because you stretch your spinal cord a little too, all signals will
be able to be transported wherever they need to go.
To visualize this see it like you pull tiny knots out of a rope.
That’s the wonder; Your spinal cord starts healing and that will start your healing.
And it will start to heal you at all places at once where there is a problem.
You will experience relief only while doing this move, no pain.
And it does more… it will stretch most of your skeleton when performed properly and to maximum extension!!
And even better, you can do this move while you are in the greatest pain, to get freed of the pain
Remember; I discovered this move while having a hernia, not being able to walk or hold my upper body up, unless supported heavily by my arms.
And you can do this in any outfit***.
Sports-, casual-, working- clothes, whatever you wear that moment.
That way your body can always be as regenerating as it can be, because all internal communication with your brain, which is mainly through your spinal cord, has a free of way.
A difficult thing to understand or belief in, but once tried you will understand, after some time, how far this goes.
I felt like my body was attacking all old problems one by one, the minute it got the chance.
It took also RSI in my right inside wrist(since 1,5 years) away within a week.
Then I could use it again without problems and did I only have a very little pain-point if not used. All pain in it vanished the next weeks.
I think everybody has blocks in their spine, even if you think you’re in good health and have no problems.
Most children won’t have a problem spine, they play and stretch naturally.
While growing up we get stressed, what blocks internal communication..
So I think everybody will benefit doing this on a regular base.
And I really think this move should be thought to kids at schools, all over the world.
As a prevention for future problems.
For me, the move started a new life without pain, instantly.
A sort of fountain of youth, renewing myself, like magic.
My body healed itself in about a month.
I think now that a sort of full recovery takes around 100 days.
I hope your body will do that too!
Let me introduce myself ;
I am Eric Jeroen Jansen, 47 years old.
I live in Amsterdam, the Netherlands.
So excuse me for my poor English, in time I hopefully can translate this, corrected, in all languages of the world with better graphics. ;-)
I am a contractor/handyman for a profession and I have had a back problem for 25 years.
Lower back-pain, middle back-pain, neck-pain, paralyzing hernia’s, you name it, I had it.
Basically I lived in pain for the last 25 years, taking care of my posture and how I carry out things (lifting etc) but basically waiting for my spine to go wrong, what happened approximately six times per year lately.
When you can hardly breathe of pain you will try everything to get rid of it.
And believe me, I tried most therapies (western as well as oriental) except surgery.
Nothing worked permanent or better than my body could do in a fortnight of rest, with lots of painkillers.
Because I had to keep working, with great pains or background pains, to pay the rent, I normally don’t take any painkillers. That way I still know my limit….. when the pain was unbearable.
I have also read once about a theory that the problem is caused by an unconscious signal, because you expect it to go wrong. The real problem is between your ears.
‘Yeah right, what a load of nonsense”, I thought then, being in severe pain.
In a survey with X-ray photos, shown to 25 specialists, of people with no problems at all, were most diagnosed as severe problem-spines.
Some with only surgery as an option.
In other words ;
Those spines were,
on pictures, also far from perfect, like yours, but the owners had no
So in my greatest pain I came to this move, it freed me at first of a paralyzing flaming hernia, with a sound like you knock on wood, TOC………Without pain!
Later I got the impression that I reinvented my body.
A total reset!!!!!!
Old problems disappeared, my metabolism changed, my body started to detoxify.
Since the first day, just 2 minute stops at the toilet, with a great cut-back on toilet paper use because you stay clean or almost clean.
I always wondered how animals did this, a very astonishing side-effect.
And so my mood changed 200% because I had every day more confidence that I wouldn’t have a fall-back.
No more pain, no more painkillers, and while recovering I worked full time! Harder and longer than before!
While recovering/working I felt sometimes healing pains.
It appeared to me as if all old pains ever experienced, showed up one after another in reversed order, to disappear. (Sometimes painful, but not pain like I was used to, this was easy to bear.)
And I didn’t change my lifestyle or any habit to achieve this miracle!!!!!
And the best part, I now know that I, myself, am in total control over my spine, whatever happens.
So if a hernia should happen, I will correct it immediately myself in a minute.
The first two days of recovering:
As a matter of fact I plastered a 36 m2 ceiling with 250 kilos material just 14 hours after I freed my own hernia.
I worked that day watching over my posture and stretched in between only once.
After 9 hours of plastering I still felt fresh after an extra stretch after work.
I did the same the next day, with no stretching in between and putting even more pressure on my spine for the whole day, by really working the plaster, to scrape it flat.
So my spine was pressurised most of the day between scaffold and ceiling.
My total recovery you can read in my diary.
There you can read the amazing day by day changes of my body, how I experienced my miraculous healing.
I guess now that a body needs around a hundred days to fully recover, depending how soon you can totally let go of all muscles that keep your spine together.
By trying you will stretch parts, until you reach a full stretch.
A few weeks ago I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that it is so simple to free your back from pain and/or cure from a lot of small inconveniences.
I asked around but I never heard of this miracle-move or found something like this.
So when this was
already known, why didn’t anyone tell me sometimes, in the past 25
It freed me of all pain immediately!
It cured most of my other problems in about two weeks to a month! And I am still healing.
I got the impression, that a month later, my senses improved!
It changed thinking patterns, two months later it was easy to quit smoking, and the logical thing to do!
A cigarette, just two days later after I quitted, was the most disgusting thing I ever tasted....like licking out an ashtray!!!!
To me it feels
like finding the fountain of eternal youth, my body keeps on amazing
So I will give this miracle-move to you, as a gift, because nobody should live in unnecessary pain.
I think it will take a lot (most) of physical and internal problems away.
A bold statement, I am aware of that, I just hope it works for everybody the same way.
That way, when your body healed itself, the remaining problems can be dealt with more adequacy. By doctors, who can find their true origin.
Also I think a lot of people who can’t afford proper healthcare will benefit big time here.
This is for them, for the needy, people who have to work too hard, too long, in unnecessary pains.
So probably you will benefit by seeing less doctors and cutting back on medicines and painkillers, you probably will see this in your wallet, a nice thing in these financial hard times.
Wouldn’t the world be a better place when nobody lives in unnecessary pain?
Wouldn’t we be more happy, more patient, more tolerant and more loving and caring?
So maybe this brings us a little bit closer together because the move works for everybody, no matter what race or religion you are.
Because I looked at animals to find this move, please take also better care of them, don’t destroy their habitats over another new car or So think abou refurnishing.
what you really need to live a happy life, instead of poking your neighbours
Our beautiful divers eco-system and wildlife has so many already made up solutions for us, please take care of it so we can discover them.
Or our children's children...........
You may call me naïve;
I still think together we can make a better world, where there is enough for everybody, in stead of destroying it for our own benefits.
Only TOGETHER we can save this world, so get of your high horse and stop this destroying nature of the human kind.
And stop thinking you need always more, more profit, more possesions......... because you think it is your right to have it all?????
Why is it your right to destroy it all?????
Or to have it all ????? That way we are 7 billion worlds short.......
Try to look 200 years ahead...........what do you see??????
So try to live and think green, and share a little more!!!!!
Of course, this will not be a cure for everything, but by opening all energy meridians and giving your spine the room it needs, it will give your self healing capabilities a great boost.
Simply because all organs will work together as they where ment to be, because your body can communicate with your brain now.
You removed all blocks yourself !!!
So what your body can restore or heal, it will.
And that is more than only back-problems!
You should see this as a combined Yoga Asana, so it comes in handy if you are a little familiar with yoga.
Try to relax, go as far as your body lets you go, don’t overdo it.
Close your eyes, focus within, at your spine and get more space in between your vertebrae with deep breathing. A Yoga technique.
In very short; breath in deeply, hold a few seconds and breathe out and try to extend your spine/bones simultaneously.
If you have a hernia, just follow the pain, it shows you where to flex and to let go, to get to a full stretch. It won’t hurt, believe me, it will pop back in the correct position.
You will see the move will do its job, get you free directly, without force or pain.
Wait in between sessions to let the spine work its way further free, the better you can relax the next time to open up more.
In the beginning two to four times a day should be sufficient to overcome the wrong memory positioning.
But since it is a natural move, more can’t harm you. So do it as often as you like.
As a matter of fact you will not notice or feel anything if your spine is in good health, because a healthy spine can handle this without problems.
I myself, I start the day with it and end as well with this move. Although the need for it declines.
However, a lot of spines intent to tense up after a few days, so to keep it flexible is a must.
It is not for fun that a lot of people see their chiropractors on a regular base.
So do this daily.
Or whenever you feel stressed....... any stress, tension or pain.
Or just because it feels good, just hanging out a bit.
This move will take you less than a minute when you get used to it.
Your healing starts immediately, and will surprise you the forthcoming days/weeks/months.
You have to do this in the beginning weeks twice a day, to overcome the wrong memory-positioning of your spine.
It will start repositioning and will self correct soon because there is also a good memory position for everything. It needs some time to get there.
In the first days of recovery you will feel some healing pains sometimes, pains that if you focus on them, are not really there anymore. They fade away.
It will learn you how to move properly, in stead of how you used to move to avoid pain. Confidence that this lasts will follow. A better mood too.
I had to overcome my brain, that still wanted to move my body like it moved it for the past years. But without pain you can move freely, it took me some time to fully understand this.
And if you feel some tension sometime than you can correct it easily now, keeping it flexible.
Of coarse, any Yoga Asanas or similar exercises will help keeping your body as flex as it can get or help you to maintain a correct posture.
So occasional lessons might be an option there if you are not familiar with this..
I know older people can do this too.
I let people with no strength in their hands do it, with no help. Meanwhile complaining that they couldn’t do it. They did it in a minute.
You can help by standing behind somebody who is unsure, not holding but touching, and so give the confidence to see that everybody can do this him- or her-self, without falling backwards, just show by touching what point to focus at or let go.
As well as the young can do this, of course, they will do it naturally.
I even think pregnant women should have no problems at all doing this in case of "relaxatio pelvis"(pelvic instability), with no hazard for the fetus.
The move is not
about strength, but about letting go. It works by itself.
If you let go, gravity will help you make it easier, and gravity will take away the pain with a little help of you.
The move is a natural one, as is getting out of position, you just stand up.
I will give this move a name it deserves; the lazy stretching monkey.
This is not like a chiropractor straitening/correcting your spine, where there is always a pain flash- moment before there is relief.
All separate parts in your spine will get loose if you learn to relax, blocks will be removed, negative energy disappears, leaving you with a healthy spine en lots of positive energy.
You will see that by letting go, the pain goes and everything will reposition itself.
You will notice; “Yeah, I felt it slip back”, but no pain flash.
And it will make you smile……
And because you did it yourself, the healing is more effective and powerful.
No scary machines or drugs that stretch you!
Your body knows its limit, you can’t go over, listen to your body!
And you don’t have to be trained to do this, just go as far as you can and listen to your own body.
And if you have a sudden hernia, you can correct that now yourself, within half a minute, and work on if you like! Sounds crazy but you’ll find out.
Once corrected you’ll never let it get that far again anyway!
If you try, you can’t miss.
The Lazy Stretching Monkey step by step;
First of all you should consider this move a Zen moment for yourself, a little daily one minute ritual to keep your mind and your body healthy.
Just close your eyes, block out the entire world and try to extend your spine by mind, later helped a little by your legs.
If you empty your mind and focus at your spine you will find your problem…… to let it go.
And take this in consideration; Once we started walking on our back legs, we only could pressurize our spines by muscles, (over)weight and gravity.
So this is sort of a missing link, find the monkey in yourself.
After doing this a while, you will understand why animals do this move by nature…..every day!
And you will understand that they stretch their spinal cords every single day, not just their spines, as we see!
And remember that you don’t have to go all the way the first time. Just as far as you can.
It will always stretch your problem out, in fact, your problem is the first thing you encounter when trying to relax, following the list below.
Most things in this list you will do naturally, without a thought, because it is all embedded in this move.
you can’t do different.
Then later, when you get the hang of it and feel better, you can let go easier and stretch further.
The full stretch will take a little practice sometimes, but shows itself.
Most people I asked had problems to let go of muscles, the first week, practice open up things.
So relax, even when you don’t think you stretch, because you feel blocked, you will always stretch a little, and reactivate a part of your spinal system.
Just hang in there daily. Let gravity do the work for you.
Just follow the move all the way through, it will benefit you too for sure!
And remember that a healthy spine does this without you noticing much!!!
Once done, you will do this long list below in half a minute.
And most steps you will do automatically, simultaneously, in the right order……….. because you can’t do different.
Red = used muscles
Green = relaxing ( - - - -) or relaxed (-----) muscles
Blue = moving direction
- Find a secure grip with vertically below a support for two feet.
The grip should be able to hold your full weight!
- This can be a fence, a traffic sign-pole, a vertical steel bar, anything you can have a proper grip at, with two hands close together and feet straight below.
I prefer a vertical steel bar, like a dancing pole.
With this I invented the move and if you have a hernia you can go downwards slowly, hand over hand to support your upper body, to groin height, to flex backwards into straight arms with a straight spine.
(I experienced the move also working with hands on the same level, each on a different bar, like on a fence. However, I don’t think your chest and sternum are pulled the same way as in holding on one bar. So I will explain to you only the mother of this move.)
- Grab the bar with two hands on top of each other, just below groin height. This height is important!!!
- Place your feet with your toes at the bottom against the bar. Feet closed together, centred with your grip. Make sure you can’t slip forward.
Your wrists and feet are in a vertical alignment now. (Once used to the move you will find your own best exact height and feet distances, because every body has different arm-, leg- and body lengths.)
- Close your eyes and keep them closed!!!!
- Now go backwards with your pelvic.
Either way you can.
Align your arms and spine, let your head hang between your arms.
Go back in any way your spine lets you, as long as you keep your grip and feet secure.
(I find it easier now to move backwards with already straightened arms, because then you don’t intent to hold strength in your biceps. However, with my hernia I did this stretch following bended arms.)
- Keep your legs slightly bended at all times!!
Don’t stretch them, you only need them to uplift your tailbone in order to find the full stretch.
They should be sort of relaxed.
- If you have a problem/problems in either thoracic- or lumbar vertebrae, follow that pain to find out how to flex backwards and where to let go.
Your pain will, by fading away, show you which way to flex to reach to a full stretch.
So although the move is universal, it will lead you to and through your own specific problem(s).
- You will now hang sort of triangular, your behind just above the floor, supported by your bended (trembling/shaking?) legs.
- Try to extend your tailbone as far as possible to the back without force.
Think it backwards, don’t use any muscles, relax.
- Focus at your arms so that the force, needed to hold on, stops in your arms.
- Focus at your shoulders, let go of your shoulder muscles, relax them. Try to make them longer, more aligned with your spine. Sort of a reaching out feeling helps.
This will pull on your chest and sternum.
- Focus at your neck, let go of your neck muscles. Let gravity do the job, let your head hang down. This will pull on all 7 cervical vertebrae.
These are not loosened by other ways of this move, so really let it hang down, relax.
To let it hang, relaxed to the max, is crucial for the full stretch later on.
This is the only way you can stretch your total spinal cord and start its repair, so relax.
- Focus at your spine, let go of your upper back muscles. This is a point where a lot of people hold on tight, at first, if you let go your tailbone will move, in your mind, 5 centimetres further away.
Just let go and gravity will pull your tailbone and help to let go and loosen up your 12 thoracic vertebrae.
- Focus at your lower back, let go of all muscles and let gravity pull your tailbone.
This will give space to your 5 lumbar vertebrae.
- Focus at your tailbone, try to extend it as far as you can.
- Try to make a straight line of your spine and your arms.
As good as you can, as straight as you think is straight, but keep your eyes closed.
(because, off course, your spine will always have its curves when you look)
- By now, if you have spinal problems, you will hang, supported by trembling/shaking bended legs. This is normal.
For a healthy spine this is a piece of cake and your legs will probably be in rest.
- Focus at your breathing, try to breathe deeply. Breathe space into your spine. Breathe in deeply, hold for a few seconds, breathe out long and try to extend more at the end of your breathe.
Use no muscles to achieve this.
- Focus at your spine, try to stretch it with breathing.
Use no muscles to achieve this.
- Now you can “wiggle” your pelvic slowly and gently by using your leg muscles, just stretch them a bit one at a time, in the same time as you try to extend your spine more.
Keep on breathing in and out deeply, regularly.
Doing this will move your sacral vertebrae , the 5 fused vertebrae that make the connection with your pelvic and give so more space in-between there.
And since you started focussing to get your 4 to 5 fused vertebrae of your tailbone as far away as you can, you involved by now all 34 or 35 vertebrae, in a single exercise!
- While extending and “wiggling”, try to stretch both your legs simultaneously just a very little more.
Don’t mind the trembling or shaking of your legs if you started the move in pain.
This is normal but with a healthy spine it might occur as well.
- Try to get as long as you can and try to straighten your legs a little more.
When you get the hang of it, you will see that you can pull your spine this way.
This will stretch your spine, and finally, your spinal cord, just a little.
This is the reset, stretching your spinal cord just a little, absolutely pain and force free
and by your own will!!!
However, listen to your body, go as far as you feel comfortable with.
- By now all vertebrae should be back in position, like a candy chain.
- You should be freed of your pain and smile.
- Now try to relax and just hang and extend a little more. Using your legs sometimes to stretch a little more.
(The feeling I had, stretching my spinal cord to the max, is a tingling, tickling feeling in my sacrum.
Sort of the same feeling I had undergoing low voltage electro therapy. This feeling fades away in a short while when erected afterwards.)
End the whole move in rest, trying to extend your backbone more with no force, relaxed.
- Open your eyes
- Bend your knees and elbows and bring your body down towards the bar.
- When you body is almost above your feet, you can stand up straight, helped by your arms.
- Now relax, take rest and let your spine start healing.
- Take better care of a good posture in the beginning and perform this move a few times a day. Your spine will work its way further free.
- You will notice more flexibility in your spine every day from then.
- Within a relatively short time, you will start moving differently, directed by your backbone, and start understanding that you are in total control now!
- You will notice a total loosening and repositioning of all bones over a period of a fortnight or so.
- You will know yourself when you can use your body again for a 100 %.
Take care, don’t overdo.
Confidence in your body will follow soon.
- And probably a lot of problems will be solved in your body the forthcoming weeks and months.
However, you might experience healing pain sometimes, they will fade away, if it works as it did with me.
I have to warn you also that emotions can get freed in 5-7 weeks or so, you might find yourself crying for a few minutes very intense without a reason. This can be triggered by anything. (this occurred to me one time)
I think these are locked in trauma’s that are healed. You probably have a light headache after this, only that day.
The next day I felt happier somehow, things change in your brain as well for the better.
So don't worry, be happy!
- When you start feeling something in the future, perform The Lazy Stretching Monkey right away and prevent that way your back for bigger problems.
So try it, let your body amaze you, do the lazy stretching monkey!!!
If it works for you, spread the word, let everybody be relieved of unnecessary pain and inconveniences.
Tell your friends, family, children and whoever you can think of.
And of course, if it helps you, I would be pleased with a small donation for sharing this information with you as soon as I understood its power.
I live now for sometime without any pain and I am working hard full time now to make up for the lost times. My body has been holding me back for the past 2,5 years.
The rent has to be paid, bills got overdue.
So stretch your spine, be in control of it.
Stop being the victim of it!
Reset your body!
After a long drive,
And do it regularly!
I wish you all a lot of good health and a flexible back.
Do the lazy stretching monkey!
Just get the hang of it!
With kind regards,
Eric J. Jansen
I leave it for scientists and medical students to explain why and how this exactly works, as miraculous and far as it does. They will find the answers soon, although it is fully logical to me.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it works for many problems that you wouldn’t even think of being spine related.
So in this Darwin year think about this outrageous theory;
Basically we are puppets on strings.
In the beginning we were born sound and healthy…….. Because all strings worked.
The body makes the best medicine, at the right places, in the right quantity, IF she can deliver this or gets the right feedback.
If she can, with an “open, very flexible” spine, so all strings work, she can heal almost everything.
As programmed to……… with the right nutrition.
What is this mechanism of the body capable of………….. if you give it a chance by doing this move????
How many strings can be repaired or rerouted by this move?????
Or watch all animals stretch their backs in the morning…..Why don’t we do this to the max????
So to get healthy we have to get back to our roots,
Find that monkey we used to have in ourselves when we were kids………..just be that lazy stretching monkey!!!!
without a change in diet or bad habits, nor taking any medicines or extra supplements at all;
Total mobility of my spine, all vertebras. Immediately.
No more pain, nowhere, since then.
Free in any move a body should be able to make.
RSI wrist healed totally in two weeks, but was already fully useful in a week.
Immediate change of metabolism.
Stomach pains, intestine pain, gas production, probable ulcer, all pains gone.
Total repositioning of all joints (in 1,5 weeks) because of correct position of the spine.
Confidence that I have total control over my spine and that a hernia will never ever hold me back again.
200% mood change for the better.
New way of moving with almost no restrictions.
Change in skin, my body copes better and quicker with cold and hot, inside and outside temperatures and changes in that.
Energetic 24/7 and not needing long sleep or rest.
Amazing balance in three weeks.
Normal blood circulation back in a fingertip once cut half off, 32 years ago. Ever since then with severe cold the tip went white and started hurting, even with gloves .
In three weeks it stayed warm, even with freezing wind and wearing no gloves.
My coughing in the morning disappeared, better lungs function in 6 weeks, in spite of still smoking a lot.
After two months I got the impression that my senses got better, my tongue went totally pink without brushing. I never had a pink tongue the past decades, this happened in spite of my smoking.
In two months the only logical thing to do was to quit smoking………..without a problem.
My eye-sight improved for almost 50% after doing this move for two months, compared to a measurement of 10 years ago ......... ( Right -2,25>-1,5 & Left -1>-0,5)
In short; It put the lights back in my eyes.
With a simple move………
The latest news is that somebody with a double hernia who does this for a week or so now thinks his heavy snoring gets less (as well as loud as intense).
So this could be a marriage saver as well, he hopes now that the separate bedrooms soon will be history. We’ll see if it disappears.
Also we tried this to stop
the hiccough. A girl, experienced doing this move,
lost it permanent after doing this move for 30 seconds. Before that
she hiccupped for 15 minutes.
I hope you will make an entry in my guestbook if it helps you in any way!
Cause I am curious how far this self healing really goes ……for mankind…………
It will surprise you for sure.
The only outfit you can’t do this in, I think, is as an astronaut in outer space because there gravity won’t help you.
But with some extra help of your legs you probably will get it out there too, I think. ;-)(back to text)